| blog from a broad* |
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Amusing keyword searches leading to this site:  See my contribution here. Pictures of the House of Lisa here. Dressing Up for the Carnival - Carol Shields Depeche Mode - Personal Jesus (Accoustic) From "The Royal Tenenbaums" soundtrack: Blur - Song 2 Luscious Jackson - "Ladyfingers" Last rented - "Enigma" and "The Score" lisa@wittydomainname.com Barbara Fletcher about me
Monthly archives:  Comments by: YACCS |
may 30
9:30 PM village people Every couple of weeks, my village sends round a little newsletter. For a publication that's only around 4 pages long, it's a damn fine read. Some excerpts: A workmate brought his Gamecube in today, so it was a Super Monkey Ball fiesta at lunchtime. I'm trying to figure out why I'm still absolute crap at it when I've owned a Gamecube myself for almost a month. This same workmate can watch television on his PC, so the lads will be watching the World Cup starting tomorrow morning. The guy who sits next to me is French, so he's all agog to say the least. They're also setting up a screen in one of the conference rooms - it's World Cup fever, I tell you. I'll have to root for Ingerland 'cos Canada didn't even make it. We're excellent at football...if it's on ice and involves skating and a puck. In other work-related news, we had a fire drill today. For some weird reason, we all got ice cream and ice lollies afterwards...for being good? *shrug* It's a 4 day weekend here coming up for the Queen's jubilee. All my mates have plans (bastards!), so I'm trying to figure out what to do so that I'm not sitting in my pyjamas playing Super Monkey Ball and getting drunk on my own for 4 days. I'm thinking of heading up to the North Norfolk coast as it's really pretty up there and not too far away. Blakeney is high on my list of places to revisit, so that's a possibility if there's any accomodation to be had this weekend. So far, I'm not having any luck finding a room. Poo. Off to see Monsters Inc. tomorrow night at the Cambridge Arts Picturehouse, which is having a late night showing with free Ben and Jerry's ice cream! Woowoowoo! It'll be noodly things at Dojo's beforehand, drinks at The Mill, then off for the film. ...and to end this riveting entry, here's my summary of the Big Brother 3 housemates:
Yes, definitely need to get out of the house this weekend. Gads.
This made me giggle, but maybe that's just because I'm really tired.
I am now getting a kajillion hits for that bloody Eurovision song contest winner because of yesterday's post. Well, at least it's not about nipples anymore.
Thank you une mille fois to Tony F. and Deano for their excellent car buying advice! Top cars in the running so far are the Ford Focus and the Toyota Yaris. Lots more research to do, road tests to take, and oh yes, I should probably save up some money before embarking on this adventure. In the meantime, the scoot sits neglected at the bike shop because the mechanics are complete twonks. The words "warranty" and "replacement hire car" are really attractive to me right now. Plus, I'm 33 and it's about time I bought my first car, don't ya think?
Regarding the Eurovision song contest winner: I'm thinking quotation marks around the song title would have been a good idea.
Three hits for N.P.'s N over the weekend. It's so satisfying when hard work pays off. Ahhhh. Had a very fun day yesterday. I went into town on the bus, which is always an adventure in itself. It takes a billion years to get to town and I had three teenage boys sitting behind me the entire time. Said boys decided that shouting at each other was the best way to communicate, and that farting repeatedly was the funniest thing ever. Did I mention I was hungover at the time as well? I finally made it to Cambridge, wandered around shopping for a bit (dragged Jim around with me, the lucky man), then we went off to the Bun Shop for lunch. Never thought I'd make it through a veggie breakfast in the state I was in, but I'm such a little trooper. We made our way to the beer festival where we met up with the usual suspects and a few extras (Chris's brother, his twin nephews, and my friend Alex from Montreal), and spent the majority of the day sitting outside drinking beer, running inside when it would start pouring rain to drink beer, then outside again, and so on as the weather kept changing every 20 minutes. The beer fest is really good fun, even for someone like me who isn't a big beer fan. There are so many different types of beers and a lot of flavours that even I can find something to enjoy. Of course then there are people like Chef who only drink cider and wine, both of which are appalingly horrible at the beer fest. I mean come on, English wine? You can't even cook with it. The beer that tasted like smoked sausages (Chris's pick), the sour beer Alex loved, and the cherry lager Jim tried (the bloke at the bar said "Are you sure, mate?" when Jim ordered a pint) weren't exactly big hits with everyone, but they were definitely unique. There were Morris dancers lurking about, and they did actually dance at one point but we missed it (much to Alex's dismay). We decided that Morris dancers abduct people and brainwash them into joining their group, as no one in their right mind would take it up voluntarily. At one point, a Morris dancer walked past us slowly without his bells on and we could only assume that he was trying to sneak up on us and recruit new members. We sat, we drank, we stood in a tent, we drank, we ran away from the Morris dancers, we drank, Chris's nephew kept giggling at Jack's leg tattoo, we drank, Chris's nephew climbed up on me when I was sitting down and had his face 2 inches away from my chest (he's fascinated with words and was trying to read my tshirt), we drank, we debated and voted on where to go for dinner for about three hours, we drank, then we finally decided on the Curry King for dinner and left the beer fest. We ate curry...and we drank. After dinner, 6 of us went to The Mitre for a couple more pints, whereupon the conversation was about fascinating things such as funny vomiting stories, weird locations of gear boxes in foreign cars, driving in America vs. driving in the UK, and Big Brother (Chef still claims that he's not a fan even though he can tell you all about it). We finally called it a night, as we made our way to a taxi stand and pointed Alex in the direction of the train station. Alex said that his impression of Cambridge would be that we do a lot of drinking and curry eating. As our mate Andy said, that pretty much sums up all of England. I wish Alex could have stayed longer - why do my Montreal friends keep fleeing back to London? Alex already paid for a return ticket, so I suppose there wasn't really an alternative. I can't imagine why the idea of coming back to my house to watch the Eurovision song contest didn't appeal to anyone. Hmmm...
I think I may get a Renault Clio, mostly because I like saying it out loud. Go on, give it a try! "Ren-owe klee-owe"! See? Fun! I'm going to Chalfont tomorrow, and booked the lovely hire car again. I met the big boss lady from Florida today who decided that she should give me a lift in with her. Terror struck my heart. Think about it - an American woman who's been driving around in a rental car for a day wants to take me on the M25. I've been living here for 20 months and I wouldn't exactly feel comfy blasting around the M25 at 70mph, let alone blasting around the motorway with someone who was driving on the other side of the road mere days before. As luck would have it, she could only drive me one way and the hire car will charge the company the same amount regardless of whether it's a round trip or not. 'Scuse me while I kiss the ground. I met a woman from Texas today who's been living here for 5 years. She sounds Australian; it's the weirdest thing. We talked about mutating accents (she does actually get mistaken for being Australian often) and care packages from home (her Mom sends her Kool Aid, mine sends me Orville Redenbacher Light microwave popcorn). Speaking of mutating accents, someone at work asked if I was Scottish because of my accent - and the person who asked me is Scottish. Bizarre. I have no idea what's coming out of my mouth these days.
Okay, my apologies - "Nine inches of meaty fun" was not Jack's creation, even though it sounded an awful lot like something he'd make up. It was written on the sign where the sausages were sold. My version of this story was funnier. Hmph. I went to our office out in Chalfont (that's ummm close to Reading sorta kinda; not too far West of London, anyway) and had a great time. The day started at 8am with my very own driver and private hire car. We're talking a cute young dude in a suit who held the door open for me. Jolly good, I say old chap. 70 miles later, I arrived in Chalfont where I'm greeted by a hug from my manager Vel (how nice is that?) and am told to park myself at a computer and keep myself entertained until lunchtime. A manager encouraging web browsing - imagine! I checked my mail, fired off quite a few notes to the Convergys boys (Jack got banned by the company's smut filter! Heeeehehehehe!), and pootled around the Internet for a while. Lunch was at a lovely pub a couple of miles down the road, then it was back to the office in time to catch my car home again. Now that's what I call a feckin good day at the office. We're out at Chalfont again on Friday to meet the big boss from Florida. Not expecting as much fun and frolic, but it'll still be a short day. Woowoowoooooo! More scooter problems today. Feckarse. The plastic mount that holds the kickstand and keeps it from dragging on the road has broken off completely. I pulled into a garage for petrol, and after trying to put my kickstand back up the garage guys and I discovered that the plastic bit was broken and my kickstand wasn't going back into place properly. I got to the office and realised that it had been scraping against the rear wheel, thus shearing off a nice chunk off the circumference. Fun. The scoot is stuck at the office where it will be rescued by the bike shop guys on Friday. I'm hoping someone will steal the bloody thing in the meantime. Needless to say, I am now looking to purchase a car - a new one. Covered under warranty. If anyone has suggestions for good, cheapish (UK prices of course), reliable cars, please give a shout.
Now let's see who gets more web hits for that one, eh Kiwi boy? A very rainy beer fest tonight, which definitely didn't ruin the fun. The lovely and funky Maggie came to Cambridge just for the occasion, and hopefully she didn't get too frightened by my beer-filled mates. Now, I'm not just saying this 'cos I know she'll be reading this later (no, really), but Maggie is super dooper good fun and it was really nice to see her. I wish she had more time to spend here, though - next time! Phrase of the evening: "Nine inches of meaty fun". It was Jack's slogan for the sausages they served at the beer fest which were called, and I kid you not, "Big Willies". Oh I can't wait to see the Google hits I get now. Whee!
You know your life must be getting dull when you stay up late watching Jaws 2. I've got a little telly up in my bedroom as it came with the house and I already had my own. I've never had a TV in my room before, and now I know why. I always end up switching it on before falling asleep and getting caught up in some ridiculous programme I simply *must* see to the end. Sad. Was there a really good seat sale from Montreal to London this week? Got an email from another Montreal friend who's in town this week. I was on his dragonboat team in July 2000 (I say "his" team as it was mostly made up of Zero Knowledge people and a few of us Discreet girls who snuck in there icognito), and I haven't seen him since my bon voyage dinner over 18 months ago. Just when I was starting to get homesick again, I've got Montrealers coming to my country to remind me of home. Fun! I think Jack will enjoy meeting my mate as he's a fellow Kiwi (but oddly, doesn't swear nearly as much as Jack does). Happy birthday to my Daddy today. :) He's 55 and goofier than anyone I know. He got a Lord of the Rings cake from my Mom, which should give you a good idea about him. Yep - goofy. I got him Harry Potter on DVD (which doesn't come out in North America until this week - ha ha ha we finally got something before youuuuu!), some jigsaw puzzles (he's a puzzle fiend), and a book of Charles Schultz's drawings. My Dad used to read to me almost every night, and one of the things he read was Peanuts. He had these old Charlie Brown books from his childhood in the 50s, and bought more for me throughout the 70s. His other fave was Andy Capp, which is kind of a dubious thing to read to a kid but I didn't understand most of it anyway. I'm sure there are people who scoff at the idea of reading comic strips to a child. I mean really, shouldn't one read War and Peace and other great works of literature to enrich a child's mind? Rubbish. What I remember and what will always affect me the most are memories of falling asleep, listening to my Dad's voice, and knowing that he was sharing something he loved with his daughter. I was a voracious reader as a kid (rumour has it that I learned to read when I was under 3) and adored losing myself in all sorts of stories. I never liked the dark and was always afraid at night (I still take ages to fall asleep), but having my Dad next to me and getting caught up in Snoopy's surreal world made me feel safe. When my Dad read to me, we'd both be on our stomachs with the book in front of us so I could read along. Reading became something calming, humour became something that is incredibly important to me, and my Dad gave me these moments that will always mean the world to me. Gah, I'm getting soppy in my old age.
Too much wine. Head hurts. Sleepy. Mmmmm. Chris and Melanie came over to eat Indian food, drink wine, and partake of intellectual television this evening. Jerry Springer is always so much funnier when you've had a bottle of wine. You know, there are a lot of people in my life who sniff at the thought of watching television and some of them don't even own a TV. I am taking this opportunity to proudly proclaim that yes, I watch television and yes, I will be watching the first episode of Big Brother on Friday night. Wooooooooooooooooooo! It's nice to know that I'm not alone in this cultural depravity; at least three others will be with me watching it too. Take 'em down with you, that's my motto.
Maggie and I were supposed to go to the Tate Modern tomorrow. I rang the train people to check the schedule, only to be informed that there are NO trains running between Cambridge and London on Sundays due to engineering works. Oh, yay. On the plus side, I may possibly have a date to see the exhibit another time (thanks to Jiiiiiiiiiiiim!) and I may be able to get Maggie here to enjoy our annual beer fest this week. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go make sure that there's still nothing on any of my 150 new digital telly channels.
The BBC news web site reports that sabatoge may have been involved in the Potters Bar train crash last week. Upon reading this, my first reaction was that it's Jarvis's (the company that maintains that stretch of track) lame attempt to divert responsibility from themselves to a mysterious vandal. How is it better to claim someone else did it? Isn't it just as bad that the points on the track can be loosened by anyone wandering by at the time? Then I read this article about not one, but two other incidents involving children, who so very soon after this crash decided it would be hilarious to put things in the paths of oncoming trains. I'm very glad that I decided to get a car to Buckinghamshire next week instead of the train. This is getting mental.
Amusing quote of the day: Who wants to come to the Tate Modern with me to see the Matisse and Picasso exhibition? Anyone? Anyone?
You know it's a good sign when your workmate looks out the window and decides that we need to be outside because it's too nice to be stuck in here. Although he's not really my team leader, he is kind of "in charge" of me for the time being. So if he says we should go outside, I really ought to follow. Just to be professional, of course. I'm not bragging, honest. Jim, quit holding up two fingers at me and pretending to wave.
No more bragging about my new job - I don't want to give Jim an ulcer. Instead, I present you with more of my desperate attempts to gain notoriety in the online world: the Feral Living Shoe Project. Karen will be very upset to see that I had to crop out all those neatly lined up remotes to fit the 150x150 pixel criteria.
New job. Day two. Have discovered a large stash of fruit in the kitchen, along with a free vending machine with pop. The toastie maker is sitting in the kitchen but for some reason, has a big padlock on it. I now have voice mail. Sadly, the sandwich truck that comes to our office every day is called "Mega Bytes" and the canteen is called "Hard Drive Cafe" - and yes, it's a rip-off of the logo from the original. Our meeting rooms are called Sane, Desperation, and Vain. Vain, I ask? As in a meeting that's in vain, I'm told. Ah. Have come across server names called Dogpoo and Baldrick on our network. There's a guy outside my office door who plays accoustic guitar - it's actually really nice. He picks it up and plays a quick tune maybe once or twice a day, and he's a very good player. Must remember to not throw coins at him, though. All in all, still finding it a very pleasant place to be all day long. Hurrah.
Lisa's first day at the new job and Lisa is very happy indeed. Everyone was really nice (got welcome emails from all sorts of people, even from the office in Florida!). I got lots of good luck wishes via email, text messages, and even a card from my super fantabulous ex-colleagues. Here's a list of things that made me go "WOOHOOO!" today:
I think I'm gonna like it there.
Someone who has sent me mail using the address in the left menu has been infected by the Klez virus (click here for details). If you have a carolchow[at]mail.com or guestbooks[at]apexdigi.com in your address book or ICQ list, as well as my lisa[at]wittydomainname.com address, then baby it's you. The person who sent the virus to me was looking at a Moby Tour Diary Updates site (the virus picks a random file from your hard drive and sends it along with the virus), if that rings a bell with anyone. Get yerself cleaned up and for goodness sake, never click on any file attachment without scanning it for viruses first - even if the mail appears to be from someone you know. Cheers!
Read all about my holiday with piccies here.
Oooh fun - my picture made it into the Mirror Project.
Just a quick note - I'm back and I'm okay. I am saddened (and a tad freaked out) about this accident. It happened when I was still in transit from the Lake District, but frighteningly, this is the very train I would have taken (albeit 3 hours later). The "Cambridge Cruiser" is the direct train linking us to London King's Cross station, and I've travelled on it numerous times. I thought it was scary when the GNER trains kept having accidents (that's the East coast main line I take to Newcastle - see "Recent rail disasters" further down the page on the BBC link), but this one was way too close. It sounds corny, but my thoughts truly are with the people who knew someone on that train today. I think I'll go have a cup of tea and quietly thank my guardian angel.
Tomorrow morning I haul myself into London and get on a train bound for the Lake District. This region is in the North West of England - it's a gorgeous part of the country and one of my favourite places to be. In some ways, it reminds me of being up North in Canada in what we call "Cottage Country". It's full of trees and lakes, hills and trails, and mile upon mile of stunning scenery. I'll be staying just South of Ambleside in a hotel on the water. I really fancied a few days away somewhere pretty and peaceful, walking up the hills and breathing it all in. This is my first holiday alone (I've come to England on my own before, but always to stay with someone when I got here), so either I'll feel like a complete dork or I'll have a fabulous time destressing. Obviously, I hope for the latter. I've packed my camera, books, sketchpad, swimsuit (the hotel has a leisure centre with a massive pool), and comfy shoes of course. I am so looking forward to it. Meanwhile, I'm off to Chris and Melanie's house tonight for a BBQ (if the weather holds up) or pizza (if it starts pouring buckets). I'm going to try grilling bananas in their skins. I've seen it done before on TV, but never eaten a barbecued banana myself. If all else fails, we can always smoke the peel. Hee.
If anyone's interested (and frankly, how can you not be riveted by this discussion?), I've discovered that cinnamon keeps ants out of my kitchen. I just put a line of it in front of the door, and that seems to have done the trick. The silly thing about it all is the fact that I probably caused this invasion in the first place. I sprayed my roses for aphids, and I was reading that doing such things changes the chemicals in the soil (no kidding) and will cause any ants living there to relocate elsewhere. Specifically, into my house as the rose bush is right outside my kitchen door. So there you go - I should have used natural aphid control in the first place. Don't tell me that you don't learn handy bits of information from this web site.
...and now I've just discovered ants coming in to the kitchen from the crack under the door leading to the garden. *bursts into tears* Ah, much better. Anyhoo, does anyone know of any "natural" remedies to get these buggers out of my house? I seem to recall something about cayenne pepper keeping roaches out (ha ha, like anything works against roaches), but is there something that I can put in front of the door to keep the ants outside? If things happen in 3s, I do believe I shall spend the evening sitting here very quietly, wrapped in bubble wrap just in case.
To the "person" who stole BOTH mirrors off my scooter last night: YOU SUCK.
I've learned so much over the past 24 hrs. or so. Let me share my discoveries with you. Why? Because I love you all. Yes, especially you. I have learned that:
Thank you. I now return you to your regularly scheduled Sunday.
What a brilliant time I had last night. Thank you everyone for making it a fabulous night out. My head hates you for it, but it was worth it. Actually, I woke up with that feeling I used to get after a night out when I still smoked: raspy, painful throat, coughing up a lung, feeling like someone's carpeted the inside of my mouth. Mmmmm sexy. A bit annoying that I can still feel like this even though I haven't had a cig in over two years. Pleh. Jim's site made me spray tea out my nose. The poor man was forced to go to a truck show in Peterborough (a town almost as exciting as its counterpart in Ontario, Canada) this weekend, as he promised a good friend he'd go. This was made all the more worse when he had to turn me down after I invited him over for Gamecubing action and beer this weekend. I'm sure Truckasaurus was simply...fascinating. *snerk!* Chris, Melanie, and I scampered out (when I say "scampered", I really mean "dragged their hung over selves into town very quietly") and bought our Gamecubes this morning. It's really good fun - I had a quick play with it before lunch. In keeping with this week's monkey theme, I shall now go immerse myself in Super Monkey Ball. See you when I run out of food or need to go to work or something.
Tired. Starting to sober up. Pictures from my last day at work can be found here. Must sleep. Gamecube purchasing day tomorrow. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Ouch. My head.
I can't decide if this is really funny, or really scary. Thanks (is that the word I'm looking for?) to Jim for directing me to this site to make my own monkey. Like I can knit. Pshaw.
No, not a real monkey - they scare me. I was looking for the ITV Digital monkey, famous for his drole humour and general yarny cuteness in ads shown in this part of the world in recent months. ITV ran this brilliant series of ads featuring a stuffed monkey and big bloke called Al (Johnny Vegas), and when you subscribed to their digital telly service, you got your very own stuffed monkey. ITV have now gone tits up, so these little toys are now becoming very popular. Out of curiosity, I went to Ebay to see if anyone had an ITV Digital monkey for sale, and hoooooo boy do they ever. Even I'm not that pathetic to pay £100 for a yarn monkey. Sheesh. In other news, it's my last day at Convergys tomorrow. I find it more than just a little amusing that people keep finding my site by doing searches for "Convergys sucks". That brings a tear to me eye. In all seriousness, I am really going to miss my workmates (most of them, anyway). I couldn't have asked for a better group to be forced to see 5 days a week, and the laughs were a huge bonus. Last pub lunch at the Portland Arms tomorrow. Last time I can ask if they have "Braaaaaaaaiiiiins" on tap (Brains being a brand of beer, you see - they just love it when I do this every freaking week I go in there. Oh yes.), and the last time I get my veggie breakfast. Who's Jim going to chat to when he tries to kill two hours at the printer now? Whose hood will Jack fill with staplers and hole punchers? Who else is going to appreciate Chris's enthusiasm for Big Brother every day at the office? *sigh* Looking forward to a night of tapas and drinks with the gang, and hopefully many more nights out to come. Convergys does indeed suck, but my workmates rock. For my leaving present, did you guys buy me a monkey?
(Thanks, Jim!)
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